Hey!

When the hell did flowers get added to this WordPress theme?! Jesus pulling up his pants in an alley what is going on here?! Do not go fucking with a man’s CSS when he isn’t looking and add frilly little flowers to his blog! Gads. Someone’s going to think I put them there. Use come common sense and tact…

I’m too tired to go hunting for a new theme right now, but I’ll get you. I’ll get you…

The Impossibility of it all

Keeping up with a blog, being attentive to what’s being written there so as to avoid tipping your hand or offending someone you don’t even know, having a life AND writing about it. Daunting.

Well I just bought a DIY external HDD, its formatting right now. This will solve my growing storage problem. Uncompressed video is a bitch but if I’m going to work on these UE videos and the WestJet TAC video I’m going to need the space.

Less than two months to go to Montreal. There’s a lot to do. There’s even more to get rid of. So much junk floating around this apartment…

Got my first parking ticket. Failed to notice that I was parked in front of a fire hydrant. Fortunately its cheap, but still a pain in the arse. If it weren’t for the twenty parking spots taken up by the goddam construction site out back this wouldn’t have been a problem. As it is I’m fighting to find a spot reasonably close to home and Stampede will only make it worse.

.ds and Libby are leaving for the UK, only to be replaced by another Aussie, Dirge who I think I’ll start calling bitey since her patented move when wrestling with me is to bite my biceps. I still have marks on my left arm from two weeks ago.

There has been lots of partying and drinking. June was an insane month. Too much going on. Too much out of town activity. The apartment has suffered for it. So did my bank account. Fortunately work is booming right now, so I don’t think it’ll be an issue. Next purchase will be a widescreen LCD, maybe a video projector, oh and I need to fix my tent (or get a new one) and replace the tires on the car, fix the window crank… fuck. Expenses expenses.

Okay, there’s a halfhearted update for those that care. I’ll be back with more wit soon.

Frame by Frame

Well I finally started working on my film review blog Frame by Frame. Unfortunately I discovered that part of my “marketing” plan isn’t going to work. See every time I review or critique a film on YouTube or similar services I was going to include a link in the comments to the review. Helpful, polite and it would probably generate quite a bit of traffic. The problem? In order to defeat spambots YouTube doesn’t allow the posting of URLs or email addresses. Fuckers.

On a related note I think the new Internet 2.0 is actually dumbing down its user base. All you have to do is check out the crap that finds its way to YouTube, read someone’s wall on facebook or look at the comments on the end of a news story and you’ll see a disturbing trend. A combination of low brow humour, illiteracy and petty squabbling. What a bunch of losers our species is.

The signal to noise ratio on this planet is going off the chart.

The Power of their Force…

I must say I was pretty stoked today when I did a search of Jim Henson films on the Internet and discovered that they’re making a sequel to The Dark Crystal. Power of the Dark Crystal looks and sounds pretty impressive, and its great to see another addition to this wonderful fantasy revival that’s been going on in movies over the past few years.

The first time I saw The Dark Crystal was at the Macquarie University Film Society in Sydney. Everyone poured into one of the lecture halls with drinks and snacks and pillows and we watched an original 35mm print. It was pretty amazing. I’ll be eagerly following the production diary. I hope its fairly detailed so that I can experience the set vicariously.

Would You?

I just finished listening to a Xeni Jardin podcast on the Virginia Tech shooter and the digital manifesto he sent to NBC. The emphasis was on the manifesto itself, but Xeni mentioned something that I find perhaps more interesting. As the event unfolded there were lots of online accounts and communications, between students, witnesses, and… victims.

How many of the victims left behind MySpace or facebook profiles? Flickr galleries? Blogs? YouTube videos? In a strange way most of these people persisted on the Internet after their deaths in a very personal, intimate way. So my question – Would you look at the blog/profile/etc of one of the victims?

It wouldn’t be difficult. Names are available, you know what school they went to and where. What happens to these virtual segments of identity after the person is gone? Particularly when they leave in such an abrupt, tragic and public way? Who has control over them after they’re gone? Should they be preserved? Passed on – and to who? Destroyed?

Perhaps the creepiest possibility is derived from the field of artificial intelligence and work on automated personal representatives, digital clones that people can interact with when you’re away from the computer. Imagine yourself talking to a digital ghost.

In some sense I can see these “artifacts” as memorials and a reflection of the retribalization of human society. Though you may have no direct knowledge or connection to any of the victims, witnesses or the perpetrator himself, you can come to an understanding of them through their virtual imprints. Perhaps this offers an opportunity for empathy and understanding that hasn’t existed before. On the other hand perhaps its just gross.

However, whenever you create an online presence for yourself, you are making yourself into a public object to be viewed and interpreted. Privacy is at least partially a choice. Is it really that much different to have your profile lurked when you’re alive? Though then again, there may be some perverse celebrity attached to a spectacular death – something nobody could have predicted.

As the virtual world and the world of the flesh grow more and more intertwined, perhaps we need to begin to wonder, does death over here mean the same thing as death over there?

Shriek

My radiators are shrieking, whistling. Its kind of like listening to bombs plumetting during an air raid, mixed in with small mammals screaming in a hamonic chorous of pain, accompanied by the rattling of dry old bones inside clay pots. Its kind of distracting.

Shriek

Its been an interesting, somewhat productive day. I slept in early as I’m apt to do when aimless and depressed, but I only slept in as late as 10am. Really not bad by my sleeping in standards. I can go as late as two or three on a good (or is that bad?) day.

Today was my first day of shooting house tours for realtors. On my way out the door for the job I realized my tripod was still in Dr. SARS’ trunk. Bugger. Fortunately the dude who runs the show brought his tripod so it all worked out fine. Pretty simple boring work, but good money. I spent the better part of the night wrestling with Vegas trying to edit the footage. The documentation for this program is total ass, and there really needs to be more intuitive ways of doing things. Oh well. I’ll adjust.

Speaking of videos, this vlog project is looming over me. I’m tired. Too tired really to set up lights, do costume changes and act. Why can’t I do anything simple? I guess I feel like this was such a big event in my life that it deserves at least quasi-epic treatment. So yes, I’m working on it. I have about five minutes of usable footage shot thus far. God. My vlog is going to have an atrocious shooting ratio…

But before I go, this;

Thanks to all of my friends, for helping me to forgive and accept myself. For helping me to see that I’m a good person, accidents happen and no matter what the end result of all this is, I will be better off for it. I can’t heal someone else’s wounds. I can only offer support and my appologies. I’ve done that. Now. I wait. No. I don’t even wait. I just go on.

Well, like I said. Tired. Oh so tired.

Talk again soon lovelies.

The Trial

I dreamt that I was in court, defending myself against the charges brought against me, my actions on Wednesday night.

There’s a reason I don’t vlog. I can’t make a simple little video. There are multiple shots, wardrobe and dramatic lighting to consider, what about the music? A talking head might as well get transcribed into text. If you’re going to use the power of the moving image, you’d better use all of its potential. Otherwise its like using a 2GHz computer and a color laser printer to make a grocery list.

Yeah, there’s going to be a video. A kind of artsy, very personal video. It will be cathartic.

More importantly though. I feel ready to forgive myself, and that’s really all that’s in my power to do now.

Theevilexbook.com

Well these guys are clever, and kind of scummy. Having my honor assaigued (I swear that’s a word – I just can’t find the spelling anywhere) by a bot was bad enough, but I’m genuinely surprised by what came next. This was submitted as a comment to my original post about the site;

sally smith | sallysmith101101@yahoo.com | theexbook.com | IP: 75.85.60.149

I think the service is great this will help stop people from cheating. I actually was posted positively on the site by 2 of my exes.

I think their will always people like you whom have wronged others and now you want to try to stop it.

The site will help lower divorce ratios and make people cognizant of their actions. Finally people have to pay the price for breaking someones heart. This way the good get referred and the bad get posted for who they really are.

Apr 13, 3:04 AM

Since this all started with some shady promotional methodology I thought I’d do some checking. Turns out the email address listed above doesn’t exist, meaning either A) this person is a chicken shit or B) its just another low down spambot marketing ploy. I’m going to opt for B.

And just to satisfy those of you salivating for ex dirt thinking “Boy he must have something big to hide.” here’s the scoop on the worst thing I ever did to an ex. I’m not proud of it, but I was young and foolish and having done it once I can confidently say that I will never do it again.

How I Ruined Redhead’s Life

My on again/off again girlfriend of three years came to visit me in Australia when I was there. When I left to return to Canada she stayed behind. We agreed that long distance relationships don’t work, so for as long as we were apart we were free to do as we pleased.

The tentative plan was for her to move in with me when she returned to Canada, but that was six months away. I started casually dating HippieTits but it didn’t get serious until only a week or two before Redhead was scheduled to return. Of course when I told her that HippieTits and I were getting serious she was devastated. She already had her non-refundable tickets back to Canada and now wasn’t sure where she was going to live. In a matter of days all of our plans together fell apart.

It goes without saying that this was hard on Redhead, but it was hard on me as well. I honestly had strong feelings for both girls and strange as it seems I picked HippieTits because I was pretty sure it wouldn’t last. Redhead was my first real girlfriend and I felt like I needed more experience before settling down with one person long term. I figured I would go out with HippieTits for a few months to a year, then I might be ready for Redhead.

Fast forward a couple of years. HippieTits and I have long since broken up, Redhead wanders back into my life and we briefly date again. Yes I did something pretty stupid and cruel, but obviously it wasn’t so bad that she wouldn’t give me another chance. In fact most of my exes have come back for another try at one point or another. Clearly I’m not a total monster, though I’ve made my fair share of screwups. You learn from these things. Thank god.

Never Look a Massage Therapist in the Mouth

Okay here’s the scene. Its a Wednesday night and I’m at the Ship & Anchor to hang out with a girl I met at the $100 Film Festival the week before. So I’m at the bar ordering a drink and there’s this beautiful girl sitting there while some guy filibusters into her ear and her eyes glaze over like a couple of French cruller donuts. Finally he leaves, his coat still hanging off the chair next to her. I sit down.

“It looks like you’ve been relegated to guard duty.” I say referring to the fellow’s lonely, crumpled coat.

So we end up chatting. She notices my “Respect Porno” button, which goes over well initially, but quickly nosedives. At some point she mentions that she’s a massage therapist. I immediately turn around and offer my back for inspection, but foolishly I turn back. We run out of things to talk about (I’m distracted by several people I know in the bar) and the whole thing just kind of peters out.

Now let’s stop and think about this for a moment. Her, drunk attractive massage therapist. Me, horny charming man who’s jobs involve lots of bending and lifting. IN other words a sexy massage therapist is exactly what I need.

I’m not sure if its something I did at work recently (I have been working longer hours than usual) or if there’s something wrong with my bed, but every morning for the past week I’ve woken up with a sore back. This ironically coincides almost exactly with my failing to seduce the massage therapist. If ever there was evidence for the existence of deities with sadistic senses of humour/irony, this is it.

So for the next few nights I’m going to be sleeping on the rigid sofa in the hopes that I can realign whatever it is I’ve mangled in my spine. Unfortunately I seem to have forgotten my system password on the computer, so I can’t program scheduled tasks to play Europe’s Final Countdown at 8:00 to wake me up. Shame.

In other news I just started another blog. Yes now that I’ve gotten the hang of this blogging stuff I’m going a bit crazy. Its called Frame by Frame and you can find it at framexframe.wordpress.com. Yes some fuckwit already has framebyframe. It only has one post. I want to eat his liver.

The new blog is off to a slow start, but I think its a reasonable blog for me to write since film analysis is something I’m really quite good at. I think the potential also exists for gaining a decent readership and maybe even generating some paying work. We’ll see. If nothing else it’ll be good practice for me to tune my eyes and ears as well as getting me in contact with more filmmakers out there.

Speaking of which, everything is in place for the filming of my Big Rock Eddie. I’m pretty excited. Hot on its heels is the Honest Airways video which has run into a snag regarding the location but I’m in full bore producer mode dealing with it. No triffling locations issues will stop me. We’ve got a great script and an actress who’s super enthusiastic about the idea. It’ll happen. One way or another.