I’ve always been a creative individual. A veritable idea factory, dishing out imaginings like a belching smokestack. My parents encouraged my creativity, but always on one condition. Be careful who you talk to. The idea being that ideas are valuable, full of potential, pregnant with promise. Therefore they were something to be guarded. Kept close to the chest. Nobody would steal my ideas and take credit for them, make money off of them, gain fame from them.
As Bill Hicks said;
It’s just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
This became a great excuse for me to not let my creativity loose, along with that ordinary fear of looking foolish. Its a kind of fear pincer attack, on the one side you might be too good and someone will take advantage of you, on the other you’re nowhere near good enough and a laughingstock for the world.
But what if its just a ride?
Creativity requires looseness, trust and lack of restraint. Collaborative art like film or larger scale works particularly.
Although I’ve applied the label of artist to myself for most of the past decade its only in the last few months that its started to have a more substantial ring to it, instead of the tinny echo of some rattling cans masquarading as churchbells. I look at the things I make, the things I conceive of as important acts, not only to my psyche, but to the outside world as well. Why couldn’t I sell some of my art or apply for grants? Why don’t I deserve to make a living off of my connection to my genius? No reason at all. Its just a ride. Choose love.
P.S.: Incidentally, if I spout out some idea that you think is brilliant and you go out and do it – awesome. Its one thing to create ideas, another to bring them to fruition. The great thing is that they can come to fruition so many different ways, and there’s no need to be greedy about “my way or not at all.” Though some credit is nice…