Asking and receiving, or something to that effect

Not to be a grandstanding, cock waving, son of a bitch, but I get what I want and I’ll tell you why. Because I ask for it. Sure there’s a lot of mumbo jumbo out there about asking the universe and it will provide. That’s hippy bullshit, even if I do to some degree subscribe to it. No try this good old fashioned technique. Tell people what it is you want. Fuck, is that so hard?

(Incidentally take a look at my want list. C’mon. Do it!)

Trick of the matter is to ask for things you don’t even really expect. Just let your every passing whim and fancy become an announcement to the people around you. Don’t bother thinking that they don’t care, don’t even think, just blurt. Assume that you’re so important and wonderful that everyone’s function on the planet is to make your desires come true, then nevermind then 95% of them don’t. Be a realist.

Let me give you two quick recent examples. We’ll call it experimental data or anecdotal evidence.

EXHIBIT A: The Visor

For whatever reason I am infected with an outrageous desire to manifest the spirit of the good and gone Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. One piece of repertoire that I’ve been missing is his green poker visor. The one that makes you look like even more of a green monster under late night vegas lights than the neon does. I have looked but I have not found.

On Sunday I casually mentioned that I was looking for such a thing to my dear friend Amira. The next day just before leaving to jump on an airplane back home I ran into her and she handed me the very visor I’m wearing as I type this. She just happened to see one at the fabric store when she was there earlier in the day. She bought it for two bucks. Manifestation in less than twenty four hours. Boo-friggin-ya.

EXHIBIT B: Idle fantasy

Before leaving Toronto yesterday I hopped onto the computer and got to chit chatting briefly with my special lady friend and half jokingly suggested that she greet me at the airport in a sexy Catholic school girl outfit. That was a bit impractical since my car was parked at the airport, but I ended up giving her my apartment’s door code and the location of my spare key along with my aircraft’s ETA in Calgary.

Not sure what to expect I rushed home from the airport, banging my fist against my bargain bin mp3 player until it played something suitable for night driving until I reached my street. I climbed the stairs to my apartment and put the keys in my door, wondering whether or not I should knock or just go in. The first thing I noticed was that some of the lights were on. The next thing I noticed was my special lady friend standing in the hallway in a skirt, stockings and a firey red wig. Not a catholic school girl, but in the same spirit. An acceptable deviation of details methinks.

Perhaps this is a different, more overt version of the new age wish wash of The Secret that everyone’s on about. All I know is that if you ask for things, you’re just a bit more likely to get them.

Now the disclaimer. I guarantee nothing. Your mileage may vary. Don’t bitch and complain to me when you don’t get what you ask for. I’m not frikkin’ Santa Clause.

Alright. Ranting and blathering about my happy days in Toronto at the Worldwide Short Film Festival will come tomorrow. Or something…

Tick Tock

With every six degrees the little red hand twists on the clock I get a second closer to departing Calgary for Montreal. Three months. That’s all that’s left, and here’s the shocker. Ready? I think I’m going to miss Calgary.

Its oft been said by naively optimistic Calgarian artists that this city’s on the cusp of reaching some sort of cultural maturity, a revolution of activity and appreciation that’s been so sorely lacking in this social backwater of a town. The thing is in the past couple of years I think its actually begun to happen. There are cool events going on all around me and I’ve met dozens of really interesting, quirky, artistic people recently.

I also feel like I’m finally starting to get that firm base that you need to pursue artistic endeavors. I’ve got a great apartment, I’ve got a car, I’ve got an amazing work situation, some wonderful contacts. Really I’ve got the makings of something great, and here I am about to leave it. Seems crazy.

Yet, when I start thinking that way I just have to remind myself that however artsy and open minded Calgary has become, it can’t hold a dandelion seed to the artistic behemoth that is Montreal.

So here I am counting the days, and somehow every one of them seems that much more precious to me now. When you have an expiry date everything takes on a new light, a new significance. I suppose its my duty to make this the best damn summer I’ve ever had in Calgary and hope that one day I’ll enjoy and work with many of these wonderful people again…

39 Secrets

thirty-nine secrets about yourself.
[be honest no matter what!]

[one] What is your natural hair color?

[two] Where was your default picture taken?
The Blind Monk pub/bar.

[three] What’s your middle name?

[four] Your current relationship status?
Casually dating.

[five] Does your crush like you back?
Which one? I hope some of them do. 😉

[six] What is your current mood?

[seven] What color underwear are you wearing?

[eight] What makes you happy?
Random conversation and adventures with intelligent, open-minded people.

[nine] What are thinking at this very moment?
I want to take a quick nap before deciding what to do tonight.

[ten] If you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?
The wording of the last email I sent to a former best friend. It was all true, but I could have been a bit more tactful.

[eleven] If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?

[twelve] Ever had a near death experience?
SCUBA diving. Decompression sickness sucks.

[thirteen] Something you do a lot?

[fourteen] What’s the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
The song I’m listening to – Chris Isaak – San Francisco Days.

[fifteen] Who did you copy and paste this from?
I forget.

[sixteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Colleen, Hitler, Shakspeare.

[seventeen] When was the last time you cried?
Can’t recall.

[eighteen] Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
KARAOKE! That would have been a year and a half ago.

[nineteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?

[twenty] What’s the first thing you notice about the same sex?
What kind of dumbass metrosexual clothing/hair they have.

[twenty-one] What do you usually order from starbucks?

[twenty-two] What’s your biggest secret?
I’m a chronic wanker.

[twenty-three] Favorite color?

[twenty-four] When was the last time you lied?
I bullshitted the lady on the phone while buying car insurance this morning to get a better rate, though I didn’t technically lie.

[twenty-five] Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?

[twenty-six] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Just had some water.

[twenty-seven] Do you speak another language?

[twenty-eight] What’s your favorite smell?
The bakery at Heritage Park.

[twenty-nine] If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?

[thirty] When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Last night I gave Keely a huggle.

[thirty-one] Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Not that I can remember. Boo urns.

[thirty-two] What are you thinking about right now?
Who the hell am I going to kiss next?

[thirty-three] What should you be doing?
Laundry, dishes, general cleanup.

[thirty-four] What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
The last person who called me kept me on the phone waaay too long yakking about shit I already knew.

[thirty-five] How often do you pray?
I don’t. Unless you count positive visualizations in which case pretty much every day.

[thirty-six] Do you like working in the yard?
What yard?

[thirty-seven] If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?

[thirty-eight] Do you act differently around your crush?
I’m more alert, but that’s about it.

[thirty-nine] name a song that remids you of an ex.
Barenaked Ladies – Call and Answer