That’s the name of some malware that’s giving the Black Box under my desk a licking right now. I haven’t managed to get rid of it and while I think I’ve found out how to dispell it once and for all I simply don’t have the energy right now to sit through the whole bloody proceedure. So. Here I am on my Mac.

Now there are a lot of Mac evangelicals out there. They pray to Steve Jobs and use his urine like holy water to heal all ailments digital. They keep iPhones under their pillows and relentlessly tell people like me “Once you go Mac you’ll never go back.”

Well. I went back once, after my first Mac debacle, and I’m ready to go back again now.

I suppose I should convert to the cult of Macdom, eat the golden apple as it were, but…

One mouse button?!?!?! Seriously guys, its been almost two decades since the second mouse button was invented. I know you’ve got this slick minimalist aesthetic to maintain – this precious “hip” branding strategy, but fuck. Function is nice. Everything doesn’t have to look like a Star Trek TNG prop. I like things that WORK.

And while we’re on that topic, software that’s ported from PC to Macs sucks. It does. You Mac people probably don’t realise it but the PC versions of a lot of Mac software is WAAAAAAAY better. Macs are a niche market and why go to the trouble of recoding all the cool useful features when you dumbass cultists will yum up anything so long as its spread on some shiny glossy plastic case?

So yes, I’m going back to my PC, the only thing I’m going to play with the Mac for is porn – so I don’t contract any more bugs. That’s one virtue of the Mac, they’re not worth coding viruses for.



  1. B · January 17, 2009

    I’d like to point out that the Mac OS has supported two button mice since version 8.6 thats about 10 years ago or so. Also since OS X and the “mighty mouse” came out, they all have at LEAST two buttons (mine has four; right, left, wheel click and squeeze).

    Software, well yeah, why develop a program for a platform that still only has around 9% market share. Not an overly compelling reason. But its coming, especially with the Vista “oops” more people are demanding the same type of appliacations they love on the PC.

  2. back2mac · February 23, 2009

    I just deleted a whole lot of ranty stuff. You’ve got Virtumonde on your PC; you think your Mac is only good for porn. Ye-a-aa-a-hh.

    And people wonder why we have an attitude.

    I got Virtumonde last week. It’s about time for Ol’ Paint on my desktop here to be replaced anyway–and even if my MacBook hadn’t dragged me into the 21st century, Vista sure as hell would have made the decision for me.

    Can’t wait for my Mini.

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