I really wish I could describe or explain the change that’s come over me over the past few months, but I know even as my fingers press down and connect streams of electrons in this keyboard, streaming into letters, words, ideas for your eyes and brain to process – that it isn’t enough. Nobody can TELL you a truth. They can only point to it, shadows in Plato’s cave, dancing behind the fire. Such is the inherent weakness of words and literal thought.
One thing I’ve been thinking about is this. Its never that bad. Not anymore. Think of failure. Hitting rock bottom. What does that look like to you? Most of you out there in first world urbania. Homeless, living in a box under the freeway, getting your food from dumpsters or the salvation army. Looks pretty bad doesn’t it?
Fact of the matter that isn’t bad at all. Not really. For us in the western world hitting bottom is comparative ease and luxury for the everyday experience of those in the third world, and for most of the human race throughout history. Centuries ago hitting bottom meant, starvation and death. Today it just means stale bread and having to sleep outside.
We spend so much time obsessing and worrying about being successful, when we already have everything we need and anything else is just a bonus. Food, clothing, shelter – all are readily available. Why we need to chase mansions, Mustangs and Timex watches is beyond me. If we have everything we need, then shouldn’t we give real though to what we want, and pursue only those thing that will truly make us happy? Silly that most of us spend so much time chasing other things…
There’s a lot more. The realization that relationships, of all sorts are more important than money, fame or power. And… you see? As soon as I try to put it into words it fades. Better to just let it be, as I let myself just be.
There’s almost no fear left, and that which remains is no longer invisible, I can see it, and if I can see it, I can control it.