April was a shitty month for me. There were some specific shitty incidents, like accidentally knocking Triple-B to the floor on Bloody Wednesday and having her accuse me of hitting her – effectively ending the dysfunctional friendship – at least for the time being (they don’t call these things dysfunctional because they make sense, they call them dysfunctional because they refuse to die no matter how many armor piercing slugs you pump into them). But there was just a general malaise hanging over the whole month, like a black aerial octopus dripping ink all over the place and disjointing my reality with its slimy tentacles.
Today however was a new start. I had a powerful experience with my men’s team last night and I resolved to get back on track. The first thing I committed to doing was resurrecting my daily discipline from last fall;
I, Kay O. Sweaver, will get up at 8:00am every (week)day, read my Buddhist/Taoist meditation and go for a walk.
Pretty simple eh? But so powerful, and I’ve been letting it slide for months now. Particularly in April when I’d sleep in until noon or later almost every day, especially after Bloody Wednesday.
I really hate getting up that early. I’m not a morning person, but I can do it. The funny thing is that no matter how early I get up, I’ll still go to bed at 1 or 2 in the morning. I think I actually have more energy on 5 or 6 hours of sleep than I do on 9 or 10. Either way I get more done, because when you’re up by 8 you’ve got a lot more time to fill during the day. More than you can whittle away with email and facebook.
The meditation is good because it gives me something to reflect on, a way of framing what’s going on in my life at that particular moment. I have to admit the Dali Lama isn’t as insightful as Ming-Dao Deng, but sometimes when I read one of the meditations it really brings me back to what it really means to be alive on this earth.
Likewise the walk is divine, even today when its raining outside. Rain water is purity. Not sure why, but it is. Its a unique substance in the universe I think in its ability to soak you, wash over you and take with it only the negative things in life and wash them into the drain while leaving your core, your soul bright and renewed. If I didn’t go for that walk I wouldn’t make it though the day, but breathing the morning air, inhaling all that energy, seeing the sun rising, watching the whole city reawaken, it invigorates and gets me into the universal flow of life. The blood pumps through my veins with increased fervor and my eyes stretch wide to pull in all the experiences. Walking wakes me up.
So. I’m going to continue getting up at 8:00 on the dot. No snoozing. Once this is fully and truly mastered I will add a new component and another, and another until I am extraordinary.