Elphinstone…

Camp Elphinstone, it sounds so mystical doesn’t it? Like nymphs swing down from giant redwoods trailing glittering golden dust and leave cherries, walnuts and chocolate on your mossy pillow as you sleep. Ahhh Elphinstone.

Alright I’ve never been to Elphinstone, but it sounds friggin’ fantastic and that’s where I’ll be aimed when I launch into the skies above Calgary on April 6th. The Vancouver Burning Man scene is having its big Recompression party at the YMCA camp in two weekend and I’m going. The Alberta scene dropped the ball on a DeKomp this year and I’ve heard from several sources that Vancouver does an amazing job of it so I’m pretty stoked. The Producer is coming with me, but we’re leaving the video cameras, transcripts, lavalier mics and other gak at home this time. This time its all about hedonistic debauchery.

I Don’t Give A Fuck

At the beginning of 2007 I declared this year the year of “I don’t give a fuck!” I lost sight of that intention over the past couple of months, but its back in full force. I can’t afford to go, but I’m going. I’m going to go hog wild, unrestrained and totally oblivious to socially acceptable norms. Fuck it.

Just to make the point even clearer I’m going to go to Montreal the weekend before. Why? Because I friggin’ can. Suck it.

I find myself thinking about Cuba and abandoned nuclear power plants…

Now I just need to decide which of several schemes I’m going to put into effect tonight. Go to an ACAD party or Kris Demeanor’s basement party at the Marquee Room?

Never Look a Massage Therapist in the Mouth

Okay here’s the scene. Its a Wednesday night and I’m at the Ship & Anchor to hang out with a girl I met at the $100 Film Festival the week before. So I’m at the bar ordering a drink and there’s this beautiful girl sitting there while some guy filibusters into her ear and her eyes glaze over like a couple of French cruller donuts. Finally he leaves, his coat still hanging off the chair next to her. I sit down.

“It looks like you’ve been relegated to guard duty.” I say referring to the fellow’s lonely, crumpled coat.

So we end up chatting. She notices my “Respect Porno” button, which goes over well initially, but quickly nosedives. At some point she mentions that she’s a massage therapist. I immediately turn around and offer my back for inspection, but foolishly I turn back. We run out of things to talk about (I’m distracted by several people I know in the bar) and the whole thing just kind of peters out.

Now let’s stop and think about this for a moment. Her, drunk attractive massage therapist. Me, horny charming man who’s jobs involve lots of bending and lifting. IN other words a sexy massage therapist is exactly what I need.

I’m not sure if its something I did at work recently (I have been working longer hours than usual) or if there’s something wrong with my bed, but every morning for the past week I’ve woken up with a sore back. This ironically coincides almost exactly with my failing to seduce the massage therapist. If ever there was evidence for the existence of deities with sadistic senses of humour/irony, this is it.

So for the next few nights I’m going to be sleeping on the rigid sofa in the hopes that I can realign whatever it is I’ve mangled in my spine. Unfortunately I seem to have forgotten my system password on the computer, so I can’t program scheduled tasks to play Europe’s Final Countdown at 8:00 to wake me up. Shame.

In other news I just started another blog. Yes now that I’ve gotten the hang of this blogging stuff I’m going a bit crazy. Its called Frame by Frame and you can find it at framexframe.wordpress.com. Yes some fuckwit already has framebyframe. It only has one post. I want to eat his liver.

The new blog is off to a slow start, but I think its a reasonable blog for me to write since film analysis is something I’m really quite good at. I think the potential also exists for gaining a decent readership and maybe even generating some paying work. We’ll see. If nothing else it’ll be good practice for me to tune my eyes and ears as well as getting me in contact with more filmmakers out there.

Speaking of which, everything is in place for the filming of my Big Rock Eddie. I’m pretty excited. Hot on its heels is the Honest Airways video which has run into a snag regarding the location but I’m in full bore producer mode dealing with it. No triffling locations issues will stop me. We’ve got a great script and an actress who’s super enthusiastic about the idea. It’ll happen. One way or another.