My Computer is Talking to Me…

I’m sorry but this HURTS. Yes its painful to listen to. Its like Stephen Hawking rolled into my bedroom and night, all creepy and underlit and insisted on reading me an unabridged copy of Moby Dick. I’m shivering beneath my bedsheets, sweating. Make it stop.

Computer generated voices despite their advances in recent years remain painful to listen to. Probably it has something to do with the uncanny valley, the realm of creepiness in which Dr. Who robots and zombies roam. While there’s plenty of work being done to improve computer voices this service still jarrs me and I find it impossible to listen to it for any period of time, let alone a three page article on Technology Review.

I applaud the attempt and realize that probably sooner than later I’ll be talking to my computer just like Scottie does on the U.S.S. Enterprise. But not yet.

Is there a risk inherent in getting this personal with our machines? I mean at what point will we draw the line? I for one believe that we should find ways to maintain the distinction. I never want to mistake a robot for a person, but by the same token I don’t want to be creeped out every time my robotic butler walks into the room.

Anyone who thinks the current state of the Internet and computing is amazing has no conception of what’s coming down the line. I suspect there will be a period during which most of us find ourselves walking through the Uncanny Valley as computers track our eye movements, make restaurant reservations for us without our asking and chat with us about our relationship problems. Perhaps Emily Nussbaum’s article is right, that there is or will be a generational gap, some of us integrating ourselves completely with our technology while the rest can only watch and wonder what’s going on.

But let me say one thing. No matter the technology, the wireless Inter-algorithm virtual AI doinkfoddles that emerge, I doubt our machines will ever be able to give us the same sense of freedom and power that climbing a mountain and standing on the summit in the crisp mountain air can impart – at least, not for some time yet…

Discipline

I don’t think I realized until tonight just how many video projects I have on the go, and not pipe dream “I’ll do that one day.” fantasies, but things I actually NEED to get done. Holy crap.

• There’s the Big Rock Eddie.
• The video I’m making for my department at work (for which they’ve given me far too much latitude and not enough direction)
• Kyle Parrot’s speedskating video
• The Honest Airways YouTube virus

Plus the list of small projects I intend to complete this year to bolster my portfolio;

• Cellphone
• Postmaster
• Richardson’s Run
• Vignettes du Pont
• UE Madness
• Brother Micah: A Street Evangelism How To
• Calgary’s Civic Bird – The Construction Crane
• Gentrify Me
• Mission Moonraker
• Siologen Jeeves Westminster and Tesla’s Power Plant

Good fucking God. I’m insane. This is sheer folly. To do this, all of this and still get enough work to put food to mouth. Where the hell is my wealthy benefactor? My sugar mamma? My financial muse? Donations graciously accepted at the fire escape in the alley behind the bistro. No questions asked.

Seriously though, this is going to require a tremendous amount of discipline to pull off. It can be done, I’m sure of that. Its just going to require the construction of systems and organization and motivation. Aye…

Storyboard

Storyboard

Originally uploaded by Kay O. Sweaver.

Whoever said “better late than never” should have said “never do tomorrow what you could do today” instead. Doing things at the last minute is a lot of stress and crap that I could do without.

Well its Big Rock Eddies time again, and for the first time I’m actually getting off my keister and making one. That’s right, I’m making a beer commercial, with no big breasted women or footballs in sight.

I’ve decided that there’s no point in spilling the beans on the production before its finished, suffice it to say that while working on the storyboards tonight I got a powerful yearning for some beer. Now if the storyboards have that kind of effect, imagine what will happen in full colour, thirty frames a second and stereo sound. If I were running a liquor store on June 4th I’d be getting ready for a run.

Production, even of something as simple as this in a pain. That’s why up until now I haven’t gotten it together. One could argue that I don’t even have it together this time, but fuck, I’m doing it anyways.

Securing a location to film was the biggest hurdle, next is coordinating talent and crew. When your budget is a big ‘ol zero so too is your leverage over peoples’ time and commitments. I’ve had to put some of my own commitments on the back burner in order to make this thing happen. Fuck.

But its in the works, and following close on its tail is another project destined for viral YouTube fame, or… I dunno. We don’t really stand to make any money from YouTube, but we certainly will find a bigger audience. This other video fits the edutainment bill to a tee. Short and simple, yet chalk full of dark humour, sex appeal and things that the airline industry would rather you didn’t know.

So here’s to getting shit done, and a year of great little film and video projects.